? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
