I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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