the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
