So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
