It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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