sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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