But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
