drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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