I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
