i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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