Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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