I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
