ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
