Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
