I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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