My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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