Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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