I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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