Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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