he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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