Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He did a backflip because drugs
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