New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
