It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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