How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
