Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
