I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize