Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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