I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
