her vagine was all disorganized.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I smell stomach acid.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
