They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
