I'm gonna have a badass scar
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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