Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's just like the Real World with babies
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
