her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
