aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
