i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
