When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize