that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
