do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
