i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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