so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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