You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
