Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
