I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I bet he comes in French.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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