I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
