i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
