Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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