Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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