Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
