Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
