this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
