actually, I'm a sock model
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
