They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
