My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
that is very illegal...i love you.
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