ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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