I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
