so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
