You're so nebulous sometimes
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
