i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
