I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
