i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize