You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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