trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You're like the curious george of whores
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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