ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize