What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
