So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
