Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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